"You know, if there was, in fact, reputable scientific evidence that rape is “natural”, ie, it is an evolutionarily developed trait that confers an advantage, the correct solution is not to put the burden on women to protect themselves… we have plenty of natural solutions for animals that can’t control themselves. We made wolves into docile pet dogs by killing all the ones who were aggressive against humans, and we’re still doing it.
I can easily believe that rape could confer enough of an evolutionary advantage that some men would have a predisposition to commit it. Forced sex exists in nature; for instance, up to 53% of duck copulations may be forced on the female by the male. But only in the world where men are the default human, and all men have inalienable human rights, and women are just an afterthought, could this “fact” (if it is in fact true) be interpreted to suggest the solution “women should avoid sexual displays around men.” If women are the ones with the inalienable human rights and men are understood to be violating those rights when they rape, and rapists are perceived to be genetically predisposed predators who “cannot help themselves”, they would have to be killed, or at least sterilized and imprisoned for life, their children (if they had any) monitored carefully for any tendencies to rape and punished just as harshly as their fathers were. Because we would see the “natural” tendency as something that has to be bred out of the human population, and therefore rapists could not be permitted to remain in the gene pool.
The implications of the idea that “rape is natural” are staggering and awful, all right, but in a world where women were actually seen as human beings, they would be staggering and awful for *men*. Men could be legally presumed to be potential rapists until proven otherwise, the way dogs are legally presumed to be dangerous animals unless under the control of a human. Men might suffer from curfews or restrictions on how many men they can be gathered with at any time or other such terrible violations of their civil liberties. Only in a construction of reality where men, like all humans, are in control of their own actions and cannot be absolved of responsibility for any crime on the grounds that they can’t help themselves, can men be granted basic human rights.
These researchers are so deep into a patriarchal, only-men-count paradigm that they don’t even *see* how men being biological predators would have to change how women treat them. Humans do not avoid predators, we *kill* them. We take the territories we want and we displace any creature that preys on humans. The logic of “men are hardwired to prey on women” results in “men, unlike women, are not rational actors who can be trusted to respect other humans’ bodies, and therefore, men must be controlled”… except in patriarchal clown logic, where the rules that humans apply to every other predator on the planet don’t apply to men because men are human and women aren’t."
This is usually a form of triggering ourselves.
Sometimes it is because we hold onto ideas like ‘if I find out he’s miserable- I’ll finally be okay.’
Plus as a society( at least, those of us who have known fb most of our young adult and then adult lives) we have this urge to also show people. It’s really odd to me how many nights were spent in dorm rooms surrounding a computer like ‘This is so and so and we don’t talk anymore but we used to ______’ ‘This is so and so and I hate them’
and while I understand where the urge comes from…
I still advise you to block him. and block yourself from being able to visit those sites.
Because it isn’t good for you. It isn’t a healthy behavior.
"Often it isn’t the initiating trauma that creates seemingly insurmountable pain, but the lack of support after."
and this is something I’ve seen again and again. and is one of the reasons why initial reactions to trauma are so important. Why I wrote a thing about how to be a friend to a survivor- how to talk about things when you aren’t. Because while someone might not know better- while they might not mean any harm- their knee gut reaction may keep a survivor from ever speaking up about it again.
Support systems are so important.
"I’m definitely pro-selfie. I think that anybody who’s anti-selfie is really just a hater. Because, truthfully, why shouldn’t people take pictures of themselves? When I’m on Instagram and I see that somebody took a picture of themselves, I’m like, ‘Thank you.’ I don’t need to see a picture of the sky, the trees, plants. There’s only one you. I could Google image search ‘the sky’ and I would probably see beautiful images to knock my socks off. But I can’t Google, you know, ‘What does my friend look like today?’ For you to be able to take a picture of yourself that you feel good enough about to share with the world – I think that’s a great thing."
Sailor-Sloth’s Masterpost of Journal Tips and Inspo
I’ve been getting a few asks recently asking for tips for art journalling, so here’s a list of things to get you inspired :)
- if you ever find yourself staring at a blank page, collaging is the way to go. It’s pretty and easy, and lets your mind wander. Here (bottom right) is an example of what I mean - it’s a good opportunity to flick through magazines and see what jumps out.
- Try layering different things over your page. Here I used dried paint from my plastic palette, and here I used nail polish I had peeled off in the bath.
- You don’t need expensive magazines to cut up. I know some people like to keep their magazines. I once used a Lush catalog, and they are free from stores. Another time I used McDonald’s fries packets. Different textures make your journal much more interesting, things can get boring if you use the same magazines all the time.
- Op shops are great to get inspiration. I got a lot of greeting cards to put in my 2013 scrapbook, because I was going for the kitschy look but they are also so cheap, like 10 for $1. Also, they often sell the most amazing children’s books for very cheap prices.
- Try dripping paint, it’s one of my favourite things to do. It makes me think of art class. Here is an example where I used nail polish.
- Paint over photos
- Embroidering quotes is always pretty and adds some difference between your painted and written words - you can do it with fabric or felt obviously, but if you’re careful it looks really pretty on paper.
- Going crazy with stickers is actually very therapeutic and looks cute
- I use a lot of tumblr posts as inspiration for my journals - reblogging it is fine, but if you are like me your blog has a lot of posts so to keep it in your journal means you won’t lose it. Some examples are here, here and here.
- Try and have all your supplies within easy access - you’ll get inspired if you have all your things laid out in front of you, ready to go. (for example)
- Start collecting inspiration to help you. If I’m ever stuck, I go through my journal inspo tag or my board on pinterest.
Hope this helps!
"Don’t let the mixed signals fool you. Indecision is a decision."
— (via unwitched)